Well, it's all over now! The "Fifth Annual Jamaica Jim Hedonism Reunion" -- and it was just as absodamnlutely fandamntastic as ever! It DID rain ten days out of eleven -- but, what the heck -- a BAD day at Hedonism is better that a GOOD day at home -- as if ANY day at Hedonism could really be considered bad! <smile>
As always, we utilized Go Classy Tours to make all of our reservations and it sure was great -- not having to worry that something would get bollixed up! We flew Air Jamaica (more on it later) from Hotlanta. They now have some days when they have equipment that over-nights in ATL, resulting in an arrival time of 10:20 AM in MoBay - bout as early as you can get there! Upon arriving at MBJ, we hustled ourselves over to the TimAir counter and, sure enough, "our" plane was waiting right there for us! (It's so nice to have your "very own" plane and pilot to take you to -- Heavenism II!) The flight over was pretty uneventful, with the exception that there were some thermals over land, so our pilot opted to stay out over water -- and the fifteen minute flight was great! As promised, our pilot buzzed the nude beach -- just to let our friends who were already there know that we had arrived!
At check-in, we were greeted by the reservations folks, who sadly "announced" that they weren't able to accommodate us in what I like to think of as the "Jamaica Jim Suite" -- room 2175 -- but instead were assigning us to room --.1011! (For y'all who've not been to Hedonism II -- or least not YET been there - that room is located smack dab on the PRUDE side -- as far from the nude beach and the nude hot tub as possible!!!) I simply replied -- "Not!" So much for the first "scam!" Needless to say -- we WERE assigned to 2175! Home again!
Speaking of scams -- my main "gal pal" -- Barbara from Scotland -- had called us a couple of weeks before our trip to tell us that she wasn't going to be able to meet us this trip, since she was going to the Canary Islands instead! After the call, both Nina (my "first wife" -- of 35 years!) and I decided Barbara was just setting up her usual scam and she'd be right there with us as always! I even had occasion to call down to reservations to talk to Faye and asked her if Barbara had arrived yet, to which she replied Barbara didn't even have reservations! Yeah -- I'd heard THAT before! Well, when we arrived, I looked around -- and lo and behold -- Barbara had REALLY scammed us! SHE WASN'T THERE! She had really gone to the Canary Islands! Who'd have thunk it! <grin>
As mentioned above, we DID have -- RAIN! I'm here to tell y'all -- it rained more or less every danged day -- and two days, it rained the whole day! Most days would dawn bright and sunny, but around noon, the clouds would begin to build back over the mountains and by one o'clock, we'd get a shower -- which usually lasted until four or even five o'clock! However, as all y'all devout Hedonists know -- a li'l rain sure doesn't DAMPEN (no pun intended!) the fun at Hedonism II! Some folks even cut a small hole in the plastic cups and inserted their cigarettes, so the cup acted as a rain shield and they could keep right on smoking while sitting in the hot tub!
Speaking of that Mecca of Meccas -- the Humongous Hot Tub -- it was a pretty quiet time while we were there. As I've said here so often before, the crowd changes each week and it depends on the mix of folks as to how "wild" or how "mild" it is during any particular week. (Let me again put in that Hedonism is NOT any "wilder" than your average li'l ol' hometown back in the U S of A -- it's just that what MIGHT be considered as wild by SOME folks is more obvious there!) And, with one exception -- the day the gas line to the boiler that heats the water for the hot tub split and all the gas leaked out of the tank -- the water in the Jacuzzi was juuuuusssst right!
With regard to changes / improvements, they've added some more video games over where the Ping-Pong tables are and added more exercise equipment to the "gym." They have also installed electrical outlets in the bathrooms -- wonder of wonders -- so y'all can NOW plug in hair dryers and use 'em while looking in the bathroom mirror! (Me -- I used the outlet to plug in my electric razor and my -- ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH! My son-in-law says, when I die, I win -- cause I've got the MOST TOYS!) There's also a new layout "map" beside the walkway down to the disco -- one of those "You Are Here!" maps! Also, they've installed a beach towel "disposal" bin at the hot tub for used towels AND an area where you can put your stuff where it won't get wet, in event of rain!
Activities -- I took part in a couple of "Lunch Time Spins," won a bottle of rum in the nude body painting contest (I was the "canvas!"), won another bottle at the pajama party with the "Most AUTHENTIC Costume" (I was the ONLY guest wearing REAL pajamas!) and was acknowledged and introduced at the returnee's party by Joseph Smith as -- "that MOST distinguished guest, Jamaica Jim -- The Chairman of the Board!" I even went to the piano bar a couple of times despite my aversion to the raucous goings-on there! (BTW -- for all y'all who know and love Veronica, that paragon of party time purveying -- she was not in attendance! Seems she's come down with a severe case of -- pregnancy!)
Well, after eleven days of fun and frolic, we were slowly getting to the point that we were ready to look at departing! After all -- a person MY age can take just SO much of a good thing! So, we flew TimAir back to MoBay and -- took a bus over to Runaway Bay and -- Jamaica Jamaica -- for an additional four days! See, "She - Who Must Be Obeyed" had told me repeatedly that She would like to try "another place -- just for a 'change of pace'!" So, brilliant person that I am, I opted to take Her to Jam-Jam, since it is a SuperClubs resort, it's for both couples and singles, it's located close enough to the airport at MoBay that it doesn't require too long to get to -- AND -- I figured it was enough like Hedonism II that we'd have our usual good time AND still be able to rest up from the frenzy of -- Hedonism II! Yeah! Right on all points 'cept one -- it ain't ANYTHING like Hedonism II! It is nice.
It even had a plethora of single GALS! Yeah, you read that right -- there were more single gals than guys! I guess all of 'em figured they'd go there and miss the so-called "wolf packs" at Hedonism and still have a wonderful Jamaican vacation! Wrong! They were sitting around, lamenting the LACK of male companionship! Just shows to go ya -- ya can't please a woman! Heck -- unbeknownst to the management at Jam-Jam -- I even "converted six people" to Hedonism! Yeah -- a pair of single gals and two couples opted to move from Jamaica Jamaica to Hedonism II -- as a direct result of MY telling 'em how much BETTER Hedonism II is than Jam-Jam! I would be worried bout what the Jam-Jam management thought of my "proselytizing" their guests -- but, what the Hell -- I doubt that THIS Hedonist will ever be at Jam-Jam again! <BFG>
I will give Jam-Jam it's due. The rooms and bathrooms are nicer! The dining area is nicer. The pool is larger and might be just a tad better. OK, those are the GOOD features! The meal buffet selections did tend to be a bit more that were offered at Hedonism. On the negative side -- IN MY HUMBLE OPINION (fully supported, I might add, by She Who Is The Mother Of MY Children) -- the food is not as good. They only have TWO choices of juice at b'fast. The beach is nice, but there's a constant WIND, with the resulting waves along the beach and that makes the ocean not as enjoyable to swim in as it is a Hedonism. The activities are a bit innocuous and not as much fun. The entertainment is bout the same, but it's performed in an upstairs "night club," which even MORE loud than it is at Hedonism. The grounds are well maintained, but lack the lushness that's so apparent at "the other place!" It also has far fewer trees on the beach, which we like at Hedo.
On the whole, I'd expect that someone who'd only been a guest at Jamaica Jamaica would absodamnlutely love it! However, I expect I'll be hearing from the six folks who I "steered" over to Hedonism that I was right in EVERY respect when I told 'em they'd find Hedonism a better resort! (I'll let y'all know soon as I hear from 'em by posting a message on the forum!)
Now, here I hafta post that Air Jamaica (aka "Air JaMaybe!") has dropped in MY estimation -- and I'VE been up to now one of the FEW supporters they've had! It appears that the new management is NOT looking after what an airline has to have to survive -- satisfied passengers! Yeah, I know! Even back in years past, Air Jam hasn't done THAT good a job -- but you had to love 'em! Now -- it appears to THIS ol' mon that no one even cares! We were s'posed to have a direct flight from MoBay at 3 PM to ATL. WRONG! At the "eleventh hour" -- which was 1:50 PM -- they announced that we would leave in -- TEN MINUTES! And, that was with bout seventy-five passengers for THAT flight STILL standing in line at the ticket counter! Course, the plane didn't even pull away from the gate till -- 2:55! So much for Air JaMaybe's "on time" statistics!
Seems the plane FROM ATL hadn't flown and, instead, they'd used a plane from Miami -- and THAT plane was in route to -- KINGSTON -- before it was to turn around and go to ATL! That meant we had to board -- find seats (since the ones shown on our boarding passes had passengers from MIA still sitting in 'em. "She - Who Was Now Mad As A Wet Hen" even asked the F/A if we were on the right plane and got the response, "I don' know! Dey don' tell me anyting!"), fly to Kingston, deplane, with all our carry-on baggage -- wait an hour in the in-transit waiting room -- reboard -- and fly to ATL, leaving the island at -- 4:30 PM! Add to that the fact that I think Air JaMaybe had moved the seats even CLOSER than they USUALLY are! Talk bout a flight from Hell -- this even beat the bus ride from MoBay to Negril ! Luckily, upon arrival at ATL -- and a frantic sprint from the international concourse to the "B" concourse, we STILL made our Delta flight home! Yeah -- Delta IS "ready when you are!"
All in all, we had a wonderful time and look forward to returning "home" to Hedonism in the -- Fall? I hope so! I think "She - Who Puts Up With ME" did finally see that, with all it's faults (Who said that?). Hedonism II still is the best buy for the money -- anydamnwhere!
Copyright Jamaica Jim Jordan, 1993.
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